3 Barriers To Repairing Your Relationship After Cheating

Sunday, December 22, 2013

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Your cheating spouse may not be living up to your expectations of how he or she should act after being caught having an affair. If your spouse is not showing any outward signs of guilt, you may conclude that he is not feeling any guilt or remorse or is incapable of any such feelings. This may or may not be the case as there might be certain barriers standing in the way, which need to be taken down before healing your relationship after cheating can take place.

Disloyal spouse has no clear sense of what marital unfaithfulness is

Your wayward spouse may rationalize that he or she did nothing wrong because they did not have a physical relationship with the other person. Some people don't view emotional affairs as real affairs. The reality is that your partner's intimate relationship (whether emotional or physical) with someone other than you was or is draining the life from your marriage as he pours more and more emotional energy into this person and less and less into the marriage. In addition, your spouse deliberately set out to deceive and lie to you. Your spouse not having a clear sense of what marital unfaithfulness involves becomes a barrier to repairing your relationship after cheating.

Disloyal spouse feels that they did nothing wrong

Your cheating spouse may know deep down inside that their behavior crossed the line, but still seek to justify their actions by saying for example that it was just an emotional affair or the person is just a friend. The only way to repair your relationship after cheating is for you spouse to stop avoiding the truth, own up to what he has done, change the behavior and to be held accountable.

Disloyal spouse blocks out their emotions because it is too much to deal with

A cheating spouse is still a person - a broken person at that. It takes a lot for a person to admit to the choices they've made and take responsibility for their behavior, swallow their pride and learn from their mistakes. So if your spouse does not seem to be affected by guilt, remorse or understanding, it could be that he is choosing to block it out because the guilty feelings is too much to deal with or he just doesn't know what to do.

In order for you to move forward and heal your relationship after cheating, your disloyal spouse has to do the necessary work to overcome the flaw in his character, just as you also have your emotions and feelings to work through
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Save Money When Buying Wedding Invitations

Saturday, December 21, 2013

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It seems that everyone is on a budget these days. For this reason, purchases are more heavily scrutinized, and decisions are more thought out. While planning a wedding on a budget can be delicate process, an incredible event can still be orchestrated even while the purse strings are held tightly. There are opportunities for saving money in many areas of a wedding, from the wedding invitations to the thank you cards.

Deciding on wedding invitations is one of the first choices the bride and groom will make. This is a great time to investigate all styles, colors and options available in order to find the best invitations, at the best price as well.

Of course, the happy couple does not want their wedding invitations to look like budget wedding invitations. Fortunately, there are so many wedding invitation options out there that you can find beautiful wedding invitations that do not put a major dent in your wedding budget. Here are just some of the ways that you can save money when buying wedding invitations.

Shop for wedding invitations online

Shopping online gives you a huge marketplace to shop in. You are not confined to the prices that your local printers might charge. Instead, you get to pick from a wide selection of wedding invitation vendors. Be sure to compare prices, delivery dates and quality. A lot of the wedding invitations styles you will find on one site are similar if not identical to wedding invitations that you will find at other wedding web sites. If you keep a watchful eye when comparing price, quality and style, you should have no problem finding invitations you will be excited to send out.

Decide what wedding stationery you need before you order

Do you really need every single piece of stationery that’s offered just because it coordinates with your wedding invitations? Be selective and only order the pieces that you really need. Wedding invitations and envelopes are a must, of course, but can you wait on thank you cards until after the wedding? Also, eliminating save the date cards as well as menu cards are another way to cut costs. Pick and choose only what you need, but be sure to order everything at once so you can save money on shipping costs.

Consider what parts you can do yourself

Beribboned invitations are among the most stylish options available to today’s bride. You can save about 5% off the cost of your invitations by buying double-faced satin ribbon and adding ribbon embellishments to your invitations before you slip them into the envelope.

The ultimate in DIY wedding invitations, of course, is to print your own invitations at home. With a purchased wedding invitation kit, you can even duplicate complicated and beautiful wedding overlay photo invitations that are usually only available through the highest priced printers.

Choose simple themed wedding invitations with one color printing

The more colors that are involved in the printing process, the more the invitation will cost. To keep costs low, choose a wedding invitation style that is printed in one color only. There are some very elegant invitations with silhouette designs printed in one color that can be further embellished if your heart desires.

Order completely coordinated wedding “sets”

You can find beautiful sets of invitations that are designed to coordinate with your entire wedding party. The advantage to choosing wedding invitations at a site that offers everything you need for your wedding is that the colors available for your invitations will be available throughout the full range of their invitation supplies. That means that you can choose a simple invitation and then embellish it with envelope foil inserts, ribbons and insert cards that match each other perfectly.

It also means that you can choose the invitations that you love, and then choose other wedding stationery that coordinates in color, but is from a less expensive line. Mixing and matching that way lets you put your money into the pieces that are more important to you and save on pieces that will coordinate without matching precisely. Your wedding will be unique and beautiful, and within your budget.

Choose a basic invitation and embellish to your heart’s content

The most basic invitations can easily be the most elegant. Choose a simple, one panel flat invitation and then customize it to make it your own. Choose ink color that coordinates with envelope liners, add a vellum wrap and tied it with a matching ribbon. Buy it a la carte and assemble it yourself to save big money on invitations that look like the most expensive ones in the store.

Your wedding invitations are the first impression that your guests will have of your wedding, and your thank you cards are their lasting memory. Choose well, and feel free to mix and match within the range of invitations to find your own perfect style. Your wedding invitations will not only make a lasting impression, they will fit right into your budget and reflect your own unique style for less.


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Decisions on Appetizers and cocktail hours

Friday, December 20, 2013

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In order to have even more time to socialize or to give the married couple some time for pictures or quiet, the trend of cocktail hours has re-emerged. Of course, these aren’t the only reasons that you may want to contemplate a little fun before the actual start of the reception.

For the wedding party

After the rush of pictures and the excitement of the ceremony, a lot of the wedding party can become disheveled and unkempt. By giving them a little time to get freshened up, all of the reception pictures can be just as lovely as the ceremony ones.

Of course, if the wedding party has to transport themselves to the reception hall, a cocktail hour can give them enough time to get there and get organized as well. They can put away anything that they brought with them to the hotel or to the ceremony, plus change into anything that they may have brought with them—more comfortable shoes, for example.

A cocktail hour is a great new way to have a receiving line. The wedding party can meet and greet the guests as they arrive at the reception hall, even show them to their seats if they’d like. This way, the only thing that anyone is waiting on is the bride and groom.

For out of town guests

If you just couldn’t schedule the wedding and the reception back to back, then you may be in luck with having a cocktail hour. When your guests are from out of town, they don’t necessarily want to go back to their hotels before heading over for the reception, so they can have the option of going for light appetizers and cocktails.

This also gives them the opportunity to mingle with everyone in a less intense setting. There won’t be all the dancing and cake cutting, so it can be a lot calmer. Plus if the wedding was earlier, the guests are probably hungry, so you’ll be feeding them as well. And drinks can help to liven up any bunch of people.

A cocktail hour is a great way to warm everyone up and get acquainted before the arrival of the couple and the start of the reception. And since you’re feeding everyone a little something to begin with, you may also be able to have a less complicated dinner menu—if you’re on a budget.

So if you’re deciding on whether or not to have a cocktail hour, why not just do it? It’s an inexpensive way to keep your guests from having grumbling stomachs.

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Choosing the Right Guam Dating Online Site To Join

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Many dating sites that Guam dating online singles can join and make use are available. There is no easier way of starting out on online dating like through registering in one of them, rather than doing it as a guest. Being a part of the proceedings will give you a strong base upon which you can begin dating and changing your life in the right direction. It is very important to find the best way of transacting dating issues, more so online, so that finding the best of Guam dating might be a unique and exciting process.

Some websites require you to pay some membership money to start upon Guam dating online, and you must be clear in the choice you have made. Perhaps you can contact your friends for a referral on the right dating site that gives a unique experience and quality services. However, it will be a blunder if you stick to their directive, since their romantic and relationship needs are very different from yours. The more you find the kind of dating site that changes your life the better. You should always find the right site that settles your personality and avails the kind of singles with whom you share the same characteristics.

Guam dating online through a paid site offers you a better deal considering the many features that modern dating sites have within them. You can find many dating sites with features that include Instant messaging, chat, access to profiles, photo and video albums of members, matchmaking services, filters and many others, which become hassle free to use once you are a member. The features make your interaction so easy and the more you meet singles through a site that offers you such services the more you will enjoy the holistic online interaction with your Guam dating online person.

Of late, singles have discovered the importance of online dating and the services that are provided. The more you find the right person to start dating today, the more you find the right person to enjoy dating and romance. The best way you can do is to narrow down your search to those singles that are in your neighborhood or location, so that the chances of meeting might also be harnessed. In addition, meeting singles from your area will be an advantage since you share the same cultural and social characteristics. There is no better way of meeting like through Guam dating online, since it gives many choices to choose from, and the response is fast and immediate. You will find dating online so easy if you find a good online site, and it is the one to aim.

If you find the entries at Guam dating online are going nowhere, make sure you do not give up. The partner you might be looking for could still be unregistered. In dating and romance circles, the essence is to be strong and never to give up; otherwise, love issues have never been easy and do not expect them to be.


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How To Save $37,500 On Legal Fees AND Protect Your Co-Parenting Relationship

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

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This will probably surprise you but divorce is NOT a legal issue, it is a personal issue and most people should get a divorce with little or no lawyer involvement. If you want to have the smoothest divorce possible the solution is to resolve your problems outside of court.

1. Avoid Lawyers and Courts as much as possible! The first thing you should know is that our legal system is not child-focused or family-friendly; it is adversarial by nature. The emotional and financial price you pay when you each hire separate divorce lawyers is higher than you can now imagine. Before I became a divorce attorney I was a special education teacher. My Masters is in Special Education, focusing on teaching severely emotionally disturbed children, so I came to the law with a powerful bias to act only in the best interest of the children. That is NOT the focus of most divorce lawyers. Many divorce lawyers are very comfortable spending a client's college fund instead of quickly and economically helping the couple to negotiate a fair deal. After 8 years of litigation and witnessing the total financial and emotional devastation of too many families, I vowed to no longer take adversarial divorces and to do only divorce mediation. In the following 3 years, after working with over 185 couples with 100% success rate, I am convinced that divorce mediation should be the solution of first resort for 85% of the couples who are contemplating divorce.

2. Learn the divorce laws in your state. It is easier to deal with a situation when basic information is already known. In the 8 community property states (Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin) property division is pretty clear. What ever was totally owned prior to marriage or received by gift or inheritance is separate property that goes to the spouse who owns it. If it was partially paid for using wages or income earned during the marriage, the "community" gains an interest in it that can be calculated. Division of property in community property states is one of the easiest issues to deal with because it is so clear cut. But what about the other 42 states? These states use an equitable distribution system to divide marital property. Each state has its own rules that can be ascertained prior to starting the divorce process. So there is some uncertainty in non community property states but an experienced lawyer/mediator generally knows what the court will do in most situations and can be a valuable guide to couples who are unfamiliar with the laws. All states have some kind of guideline child and or spousal support rules. Paralegals in your area will have the state program or otherwise be able to help you determine what support should be. There is nothing to fight about. Would you think of arguing about whether or not 2+2+4? It is a math problem that does not require a court fight unless someone is hiding income.

3. Acknowledge that PARENTS are the best people to decide child issues! Custody is the issue that needs to be settled outside of court! The bad feelings that come from litigating child issue will ruin any ability to co-parent later. A judge might look at the papers you file for a few minutes but often they are looking at your papers while the attorneys are arguing. You only get a limited amount of court time and then a decision will be made by a stranger who does not know or care about you or your children. It makes NO SENSE to put yourself at the mercy of lawyers and judges who will tell you how to raise your children. A far better approach is to use the services of a child therapist or another parent who has successfully raised their own children. Go to a therapist or trusted friend and let them act as a judge. They have more insight into the two of you than a judge would. Why make strangers rich by hiring lawyers? It is to their benefit to keep the two of you fighting.

4. Find out about the alternative to divorce court: mediation. In litigated divorce cases, child custody and visitation issues can be the most contentious and emotional. As described above, you can and should deal with child issues outside of court. If the parents can agree to a custody arrangement, which they eventually do in 90% of custody cases, they can avoid court altogether. Why should a couple wait until they are on the courthouse steps to make a deal? Only 10% of custody cases are litigated. The courts typically apply a "best interest of the child" standard in determining who should get primary custody. You know the parents themselves are in the best position to decide how their children should be raised. When a couple works together in mediation they are in control of the final outcome, not lawyers or judges. When the couple has an intention to effectively co-parent by always keeping the best interest of the child foremost in their mind, they will produce a much more satisfying outcome than if a solution is imposed upon them from above. Child custody issues are the most inappropriate issues to be decided within an adversarial system. The win/lose game that is played in court always results in tension between the parents. Not only will this tension negatively affect the health and happiness of the parents but the children will be caught in the middle of a battle, ducking verbal and emotional bullets as they fly over their heads. The adversarial system does not protect the co-parenting relationship of parents and should be avoided if at all possible. An emotionally vulnerable client in the hands of a "zealous advocate" who is more concerned with enriching themselves than in helping their client is a dangerous combination. Working with an attorney/mediator protects the couple by having an expert giving them legal information in a way that does not encourage them to fight.

5. How to find the mediator who is right for you? The phone book is full of divorce attorneys. How do you know who to trust? When looking for a mediator it is best to avoid the wolves in sheep's clothing. You do not want an attorney who primarily practices adversarial law. While it is best to use a mediator who is an experienced lawyer so they can give accurate legal information to the couple, you want to use someone who focuses primarily or better yet, exclusively on mediation instead of litigation. Ask the mediator how many mediations they have done (the more the better), what their success rate is, how long it takes and the cost. Then compare the answers to see who the two of you like best.

In conclusion, the primary thing to keep in mind is that avoiding divorce attorneys and court should be your #1 priority if you want to protect your health, spirit, co-parenting relationship and pocketbook. The divorce process is an emotional and personal situation, not a legal situation. Because so many people have already been divorced, there are no more mysteries. All the legal questions have already been answered so an experienced divorce lawyer who is acting as the mediator, will have a good idea of what the court would order. There is no reason to fight. But mediation is not for everyone. Approximately 15% of the population are high conflict personality types. You have met these people before. They have problems with all the people in their life, at work, school, home, family, etc. They thrive on drama and create a lot of problems for themselves and others. Ask your friends if that sounds like you or your spouse. If so, consider if that really works in your life. With a powerful intention you can create more peace by changing your outlook and actions. You may even save your marriage. If both of you agree that it is best to move on as single people and are rational enough to work together instead of making divorce lawyers rich, then take a good look at mediation. You only get one chance to create a peaceful divorce. Your children will thank you for not putting them in the middle of a nasty court fight.


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How Counseling For Engaged Couples Might Help You Before Your Marriage

Monday, December 16, 2013

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There are numerous reasons why engaged couples may hope to consider counseling, and it is vital to remember that attending counseling sessions does not point to a bad relationship. In reality, the eagerness to work through problems or examine diverse issues that will strike their marriage shows the level of commitment the couple shares and can help reinforce their tie even before they walk down the aisle. Counseling can also support couples to determine if they are prepared to get engaged, and it can aid them in deliberating concerns they may not have considered beforehand.

While relationship and premarital counseling is sensible for every engaged couple, those who face more grave issues may particularly want to ponder counseling or therapy. Couples who may be notably in need of counseling include:

* Remarkably young couples. There is no proper age to get engaged for every couple, but very young couples with fewer adult and relationship experiences may want to consider counseling to guarantee they are prepared for a lifelong commitment.

* Couples of opposite faiths. Obtaining religious or spiritual counseling can aid couples to bring their faiths together into a supportive religious relationship to nurture their marriage.

* Couples with abusive pasts or abusive family histories. Even if the abuse was finished long before the couple met, knowing that history and working through the old emotions can help couples know one another and learn how to be reassuring. Note: If couples have experienced abuse in their own relationship, they ought to search for extensive counseling before they get engaged to confirm their issues are resolved and they can move on without abusing one another.

* Couples with special life circumstances. Psychological disorders, medical concerns, long distance engagements, and other special circumstances can be unruly, and counseling can help couples hold their engagement without letting these circumstances be obstacles to their happiness. Additional types of counseling are handy for even more specific concerns, such as money, self esteem, substance abuse, and other issues that could be reflected in the couple's relationship.

Types of Couples Counseling

There are some types of counseling available to engaged couples, from fundamental premarital counseling to specialized sessions that can help them get support for any issues in their relationship.

Premarital Counseling

Premarital counseling may be required by law in some states or by the couple's faith. These two types of premarital counseling can be very opposite, but they are both worthwhile for couples planning a life together.

* Secular Premarital Counseling: If couples should attend counseling by law, the sessions usually incorporate primary advice on family planning, finances, communication, the legal definition and responsibilities of marriage, and other issues worthwhile to engaged couples. In various states that insist on counseling, couples may be able to elude the requisite if they have been previously married or if their nuptials are scheduled after a determined waiting period.

* Religious Premarital Counseling: Faith-based counseling may be necessary by different churches in order to have a lawful clergy perform the marriage ceremony. Counseling sessions often incorporate discussions of the role of religion in marriage, the responsibilities of married couples, the value of communication with one another and with God, and how to seek assistance from the church to settle conflicts.

Therapy Counseling

A few types of therapy counseling can be worthwhile to engaged couple if the issues addressed directly impact their relationship.

* Substance Abuse: This class of counseling may be for individuals who have abused drugs and alcohol or for their significant others. Ways to stay clean, how to handle the consequences, and different issues are frequently highlighted in supportive ways.

* Medical Counseling: If one person in the couple suffers from a physical circumstance, sickness, or handicap that requires therapy or unique care, the couple can attend counseling sessions to determine how to cope with the circumstance and how to work together as a loving, understanding couple.

* Emotional Counseling: Family abuse, disputes, deprivation, and other issues can lead to emotional problems that may demand counseling. If a couple attends this class of counseling together, they can help one another get support for these issues to lead a happy, complete life.

Specialized Counseling

Other specialized counseling that can be profitable for engaged couples include:

* Financial Counseling: These sessions examine creating a personal budget, directing debt, controlling credit cards, retirement plan, investing, and other monetary issues that can act upon the couple's marriage.

* Family Counseling: If either the bride- or groom-to-be has children from a past relationship, attending family counseling can aid the children to settle into the new family and help the couple learn how to be parents together. Ideally, couples need to resolve parenting issues before they walk down the aisle.

* Parenting Counseling: If the couple hopes to start their family right away or if they are already pregnant, counseling sessions for eager parents can help them prepare for adding a new family member to their relationship.

* Career Counseling: Planning career paths, selecting a new career, and additional issues can help couples feel safe not only in their relationship, but also in their professional paths as they start their lives together.

Arranging Counseling

If premarital counseling is necessary before a couple marries, their nearby church or marriage license office can often suggest accessible resources. For more secular counseling services, couples should ask doctors, therapists, and other resources to find the best services for their particular needs. Counseling sessions may be weekly or monthly continuing programs, one day workshops, weekend retreats, or other formats, but the end outcome is the same: helping them prepare for an enduring relationship.

Should engaged couples go to counseling? Only the couple can determine how to answer, but proper professional assistance for working out problems and plotting a stronger relationship can only help aid every couple willing to attend counseling before they walk down the aisle.


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