After The Affair - Do They Still Love Me?

When you find out that your spouse is cheating on you, it seems like your whole world is coming apart at the seams. You have this sinking feeling that maybe your spouse doesn't love you anymore and that your marriage is on the verge of collapse because the love has died after the affair. It's hard to understand how on the one hand your spouse says that he loves you, and yet could do such a vile, selfish and hurtful thing. Do you think it's possible for your spouse to cheat on you if he really loved you?

Because if he truly loved you he would never have cheated on you, right? Whether your spouse is still in love with you or not is a hard question to fathom. The only person who can give you a real answer is your spouse.

It's possible your spouse still loves you after the affair

There are many reasons why people cheat and sometimes people truly do fall out of love. But cheating does not automatically mean that your spouse has fallen out of love with you. What your spouse did was horribly selfish and unjustifiable. Having an affair is not the way to appropriately express dissatisfaction and pain in a relationship. What the affair reflects is that your spouse has a serious flaw in his character and not necessarily that he does not love you.

Your cheating spouse has lost his way and is doubtless feeling confused at the moment. His love for you may be buried somewhere deep inside. So even if he or she says that they are no longer in love with you anymore, it doesn't necessarily mean they have fallen out of love with you. This could be just a reflection of the poor state of your marriage after the affair or they may have so much resentment and hurt that they are not willing to consider any other alternative except walking away from the marriage.

Your spouse may continue to deny his loving feelings for you until some sort of a crisis of some kind - such as an impending divorce or separation - brings him back to his senses. This may wake him up from his stupor to realize that he is still in love with you and wants to save the marriage.

There are some cases though, where love is indeed lost after the affair, in which case you should prepare yourself for the possibility that you may not be able to save your marriage at all. You can only stick it out with someone whom you love and who loves you back. You can't build a house on sand. Love is the foundation of a good marriage. Love is the reason for the relationship. Besides, you probably don't want to be in a loveless relationship anyway. On the other hand if your spouse still loves you despite the fact of the affair then you have a chance to save your marriage. You just need to know how to do it.
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