A Psychological Look at What Causes Attraction - Cracking the Root Causes of Attraction

What causes attraction between men and women? This is a question that has never been completely answered. Some couples are attracted to one another for seemingly insignificant reasons, others are so stereotypical as to be cliché. The best way to learn how these couples get together is to take a look at the causes of attraction from a psychological standpoint.

According to psychologists, the first cause of attraction is proximity. This does not mean that men and women are attracted to one another just because they are standing next to one another. It does mean that we are more likely to be attracted to someone in our own local area than someone across the country.

Association is the second cause of attraction. We always form associations in our minds concerning events going on around us and our locations. We are more likely to be attracted to someone we meet in a place where we are happy than someone we meet in a place with bad memories associated with it. This also applies to association as in being associates to the same country, religion, language, and community. It is more likely that a Southern Baptist in Alabama, a Roman Catholic in Brazil, a Jew in Israel or a Muslim in Pakistan is going to be attracted to someone with their same type of background. Not all the time, but certainly helps build attraction.

The third cause of attraction is similarity. We are more likely to be attracted to someone who shares similar beliefs, experiences, and outlooks to our own.

Reciprocity is the fourth cause of attraction. This is a fancy word that simply means we are more likely to be attracted to someone who likes us and shows it than someone who obviously dislikes us.

The final and least important cause of attraction is physical appearance. Even though this is often the first thing we may notice about someone, its relative value in determining who we are attracted to is minimal for most people and becomes a diminishing factor in the long-run.

According to psychologists, what causes attraction is the fact that we each assign relative values to each of the five points listed above and score the people we meet on each point. We all have some idea of our own value based on these points and are most strongly attracted to people we rate as nearly equal to us on each point.

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